Getting “Boundaried”

Ah, boundaries- the necessary fence that protects our mental, physical, and emotional well-being. This fence opensand closes as needed to let the good things in and the bad things out. Setting boundaries can be quite uncomfortable at first and can take practice and consistency in order to build the habit. Many times, it becomes tempting to justify not setting a boundary to please or care for others. However, what if we became attuned to know when a boundary should be put in place? Here are some indicators and reminders of when a boundary should be set and why. 

1. What are my priorities? Listing your priorities and non-negotiables can be a good reference for when a boundary needs to be set. If giving your time and yourself away to something or someone interferes with one of your top priorities, it can be a signal that a boundary may need to be set in place.

2. What am I feeling? Our emotions can be great indicators of when a boundary needs to be set. Noticing and identifying the emotions that come up when you are asked to give your time and yourself to something or someone can provide significant information. If you find yourself feeling frustrated, tense, uncomfortable, or stressed, then these emotions may be indicating that a boundary needs to be set.

3. Why should I set these boundaries? Sometimes we must remind ourselves on why we set boundaries as it can feel uncomfortable at times. Here are some reminders on why boundaries are an act of care for ourselves and others.

- Boundaries can create healthier relationships with family, friends, and in the workplace.

- Boundaries can protect from feelings of resentment.

- Boundaries can empower you to care for yourself.

- Boundaries can help you avoid burn-out.

- Boundaries can develop higher self-esteem, independence, and a stronger sense of identity. 

Boundaries can be intimidating, but recognizing that they can give us the freedom to prioritize our time, space, well-being, and capacity as humans is a gift to ourselves and those around us. List those priorities, hold true to your values, recognize those emotions, and remind yourself of the wonderful benefits of implementing boundaries the next time you feel conflicted.

—Megan

References

Cloud, H. (2017). Boundaries: When to say yes, when to say no, to take control of your life.

Zondervan.